“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
My friend Kristen Kancler posed an important question on FB I thought I’d weigh in on…
Q: “What have you had to sacrifice in your personal life to be as successful as you are?”
My A: there’s plenty of other areas that you can make sacrifices in and still maintain a healthy balance in your personal life.
… Give up procrastination, commit to optimizing your time. Easier said than done I know, but imagine what you could accomplish. How do you do it? By understanding the more you do it the easier it becomes and forgiving yourself with you mess up.
… Give up self-gratifying entertainment, replace with only pursuing entertainment when it’s a benefit to yourself AND the people you love.
… Commit to exchanging any and all TV/Netflix/Youtube/Social Media time with growth work on your business. you spend WAY more time than you might think on these things.
… Commit to stopping at a certain time each day to spend time with your loved ones, once everyone’s asleep sacrifice an hour or two of relaxation before bed to pursuing your goal.
… Remember that you will feel constant pain when making these changes, but that’s a sign you’re making the right ones. It’s easy to justify sacrificing important personal life stuff in exchange for “success” because that’s what it SEEMS like you need to do to reach success, but truth is you simply don’t have to give up those things; you just need to sacrifice things that you justify as “me time” or “I’m worth it” things, once you reach your success, sure – add them back in, but my guess is you won’t miss them; they will be replaced with much more fulfilling pieces to this puzzle we call life.
ANYONE WHO CLAIMS YOU NEED TO SACRIFICE THE IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE TO BE SUCCESSFUL IS DEAD WRONG AND IS TELLING YOU THIS TO JUSTIFY THEIR OWN FAILURE TO FIND BALANCE.
I’ll challenge anyone who doesn’t believe me to track their day in 20 minutes blocks for a week… you will be ASTONISHED at how much time you waste. How much time could be batched together to create that product, or sales piece, or marketing funnel? Time that could be levered to connect with leaders in your field, time to learn, time to restart, time to recharge, time to give to others – especially those you love. There is more time than you think in a given day, once you weed out the nonsense that tends to absorb each and every person in different ways.
If you have trouble finding balance, or you feel overwhelmed there are a few things you can try to add to the picture to fix this…
1. You need an assistant. Every, single, successful person ever has one. Practice using one from Upwork – doesn’t have to be full time or expensive, eventually, you can add more.
2. You need a routine. You’re probably sleeping too late, or up too late. Even if you have a 9 to 5… guess what, 5 to 9 (am) is 4 hours you could have if you went to bed a bit earlier.
3. Read, read, read, read. Especially true if you don’t know what to do. A rabbit hole might have a treasure at the end. Don’t be afraid to take your time and search.
4. Write, write, write. Communication is the foundation of anything that matters in this world; master it and you can move mountains.
5. Dissolve emotional trama by getting treatment. You need therapy, that’s ok, everyone does. You may not need it for life, but you likely need to resolve some lingering infection before you can grow.
6. Close loops. You opened many obligations that you simply can’t fulfill if you want to fulfill commitments to yourself and those you love. That networking lunch can wait till you have something to sell, that group mastermind can be put on hold till you have your sales piece done, that youtube channel can wait till you understand how to use communication effectively.
7. Write out all your ideas, and leave them in a notebook, the best ones will resurface later, for now they need to be out of your head.
8. Don’t be afraid of fear. Pursue it. It’s a sign you’re changing long-held beliefs that are no longer useful. If you’re not at least a little bit afraid you’re not heading in the wrong direction.
9. When you’re in a funk… GIVE, give, GIVE. The surest way to get out of one is to give to others what you wish others would give to you. Wish someone would teach you? Teach someone. Wish you had more love in your life? Give someone you care about a card with flowers for no specific reason. Wish you had someone to give you compassion? Give compassion to someone who you know needs it.
10. Drink lemon juice. It’s delicious.